Disney live action remakes are the Nickelback of movies. They’re often panned by critics, but Mickey Mouse keeps bringing in his cheddar anyway. Since we live in a world where money talks, it means that the Disney live action movies that no one has asked for keep coming.
The latest in the saturation of these unwanted remakes is Disney’s Pinocchio. The film is based on the short but terrifying novel by Carlo Collodi, and Disney’s 1940 remake is also the stuff of nightmares. While this film spawned the birth of Disney’s theme song “When You Wish Upon a Star,” it also featured gruesome characters such as a carnivorous whale and a sadistic puppeteer threatening with an ax with conscious puppets.
And don’t get us started on Pleasure Island and the boys scream for their mothers when they turn into donkeys!
Sadly, this nightmare fuel got the green light to become a Disney live action movie, complete with a cast list. Don’t worry – it will likely be watered down. So cut your puppet cords and walk down to see who’s starring Pinocchio the live action movie!
Tom Hanks as Gepetto
Shocker! America’s father is about to play Gepetto, the childless toy maker who makes Pinocchio for company and gives birth to a son of his own. At Disney’s Pinocchio film, Gepetto wishes a star, and his kind heart and a life full of good deeds evokes the Blue Fairy, who gives Pinocchio feeling.
Hanks himself is no stranger to Disney, as he played Uncle Walt himself Save Mr. Banks, Disney’s retelling of how Mary Poppins was turned into a movie. Hanks has been in Hollywood since the ’80s, starring such classics as Big, Turner & Hooch, and Splash. He also starred in rom-coms such as You’ve got mail and won the Oscar for Best Actor for his roles in Forrest Gump and Philadelphia.
Most recently, he portrayed Fred Rogers in the biopic A nice day in the neighborhood.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Jiminy Cricket
This one is slightly more from the left field, because we are the Inception star that speaks one’s conscience. Jiminy Cricket’s job is to keep Pinocchio on the right path – after all, the film states that Pinocchio must be “brave, truthful, and unselfish” to turn from a conscious wooden doll into a real boy.
To do that, Pinocchio must listen to his conscience, an unfortunate cricket whose advice falls on deaf ears. No one is sure if Levitt, like Jiminy Cricket’s voice actor Cliff Edwards, will sing ‘When You Wish Upon a Star’ in the new Pinocchio film, so we’ll have to wait and see.
Cynthia Erivo as the Blue Fairy
Weekly entertainment speculated that Cynthia Erivo previously played the big song of the Pinocchio movie. This Tony-winning actress has amazing pipes and plays the role of the Blue Fairy, the ghost that gives life to Pinocchio but he must earn it with the catch mentioned earlier.
We are not sure how often Erivo will appear as the Blue Fairy. Her role will be expanded from the three scenes in which she is in the original Pinocchio movie? Will she play more original songs? Again, we’ll have to see.
Keegan-Michael Key as Honest John
“Hello-diddle-dee-dee, an actor’s life for me!” With this song in our minds for the rest of the day, let’s dive into half of it Key & Peele starring as Pinocchio’s chronic seducer, the devious fox Honest John. In the Pinocchio film, Honest John seduces Pinocchio to play hookie and instead join the sinister Stromboli’s group of performers. He also connects Pinocchio with an even scarier character. . . .
Luke Evans as the driver
Evans is no stranger to playing villains in Disney productions. He played Gaston in the Beauty and the Beast live-action remake starring Emma Watson, and now he’s back to fill your nightmares as one of Disney’s most underrated, sinister villains. It is unclear whether it is new Pinocchio film will expand the role of Evans.
The Coachman is the man who takes naughty boys who wish they could have fun forever to Pleasure Island. Initially, this island is presented as a carnival of debauchery for children, including rides, games, gambling and drinking and smoking by minors. We doubt the cigars are making a comeback in the new Pinocchio film, however – these are no longer the 1940s.
Soon, the revelers regret even setting foot in the coachman’s bus as they painfully and terrifyingly transform into donkeys, which are then put to work in the grueling salt mines for the rest of their miserable existence. Sweet dreams, kids!
Benjamin Evan Ainsworth as Pinocchio
The boy who gave us the veils The Haunting of Bly Manor is scheduled to play the film’s precocious star, Pinocchio. We’re not sure if this means Disney is actually taking their live action Pinocchio film in a dark direction or not, but it will be interesting to see how this angelic child star shows a dark side of the character.
Are you looking forward to this new Disney adaptation, or do you think it will Pinocchio film will be another unnecessary train wreck from the House of the Mouse? Let us know in the comments!
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