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Directed by Venkat Prabhu

Review: *

Honestly, ghost chills and fears have never been more fun than this. Live broadcast is not a horror or parody. It’s just nonsense, with no redeeming properties. Except that we laugh at the most unexpected moments in the plot.

In episode 1, a man named Karthik takes Prema into the jungle … to make love … for the first time.

“I’m a good girl,” she says simply.

“We’ll soon find out how good a girl you are,” Karthik leads Prema to the backseat of their car as they are attacked by some of the most comical ghosts since humans and the Ramsay Brothers, those guys with bulging eyes, stiff faces and boiled limbs.

The above is an episode from a series called Dark Tales that Jenny (spelled one ‘n’ in the credits) and her colleagues aired from a channel that must be just as desperate for a hit as Disney-Hotstar seems to be by this terribly misguided horror saga that turns Disney Hotstar’s horror parody Laxmii into a masterpiece.

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This 7-episode monster piece is so loud and noisy, so full of horrible acting that I started dreading the ghosts halfway through. Imagine real ghosts saw this. They would be so offended there would be hell to pay.

Hell is what Jenny and her gang of ghost baiters pay when they arrive to shoot at a haunted house recently bought by a lady named Shenbagama (her collection of sarees is just about the only tasteful you’ll see in this tacky series) and her two children. Soon it is as clear as daylight that all is not going well in Shebagama’s new abode. Her son is playing ball with a friend that no one can see.

And strange noises are heard everywhere. None, I’m sure, as strange as the sounds director Venkat Prabhu is asking his cast members to issue an order to sound the alarm, scare them (literally because the entire haunted house is surrounded by shorted walls) , fear and helplessness. All this, plus more, because Jenny (with one ‘n’) was too ambitious for her own good. Yes, this is what happens to overly ambitious working women who smoke like chimneys (does anyone want to tell me the link between working women and cigarettes in Indian cinema?) And cross the line of professionalism by bringing news to TRPs.

There’s a scene where Jenny’s boss asks, “How are you tonight, honey?”

No wonder Jenny likes to spend time with ghosts. At least they are more interesting than these horny people. Nothing in Live Telecast seems interesting or logical enough to invest more than three hours of your time. The characters are pure cardboard, the fears are non-existent and the acting is terrible. Kajal Aggarwal did the right thing by getting married. If this is what the Indian entertainment industry has going for her, she better not work.

By the way, did you know there is a place in Assam that is, and I quote the series’ expert, ‘the capital of necromancy and voodoo’? No? But you do know that the Indian OTT platform is fast becoming the capital of corniness, rudeness, and sheer pain in the underworld.

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