How To Win Friends And Influence People Book Reviews; short summary, about the author, context, notable quotes, benefits, reviews, where to get (PDF or Paperback), similar books.
The book “How to make friends and influence people” is a timeless piece of wisdom and should not be missing in any library. It was written in 1936 by Dale Carnegie, published by Simon & Schuster, and has sold approximately 30 million copies since its first edition. It is considered one of the most influential books in America because it is a practical approach to self-improvement. This book uses easy-to-use language and can be easily read in a short amount of time as it has less than 300 pages.
How to win friends and influence people Short summary
The book starts with 3 fundamental techniques in dealing with people, including:
- Do not criticize, condemn or complain
- Give honest and sincere appreciation
- Arouse an eager desire in other persons.
It goes on to describe 6 ways to make people like you, including:
- Be genuinely interested in other people: This includes going the extra mile to make a difference in other people’s lives.
- Smile: A genuine smile makes others feel warm.
- Remember that a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language for that person: pay attention to remembering a person’s name, as this requires effort, not skill.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves: drawing attention to the person speaking to you speaks volumes. Being interested makes you interesting.
- Talk in terms of the other’s interest: Talk about what the other cherishes to win their heart.
- Make the other feel important: do to others what you want them to do to you.
The book goes on to describe the 12 ways to win people over to your way of thinking, including:
- The only way to get the most out of an argument is to avoid it: instead of arguing, look for common ground.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say “You’re wrong.”
- If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically: Even if you know you’re right, you can say, “Maybe I’m not right.”
- Start in a friendly way: When you’re friendly, you attract friends.
- Have the other say “yes, yes” right away: Emphasize your mutual points.
- Let the other person talk a lot: practice asking the right questions.
- Let the other feel that the idea is his or hers: invest in the solutions of others.
- Honestly try to see things from the other person’s point of view: put yourself in the shoes of others.
- Be sympathetic to the ideas and desires of others: Be honest about your weaknesses, as this would help to be more sympathetic to others.
- Appeal to the nobler motives: If you treat people well and expect the best of them, they tend to do their best.
- Dramatize your ideas: Present your ideas in an engaging way.
- Take on a challenge: Make a challenge fun.
Dale Carnegie further highlights ways to lead without offense, as noted below:
- Start with praise and honest appreciation: this makes people feel comfortable.
- Indirectly draw attention to people’s mistakes: Using the word ‘and’ instead of ‘but’ indirectly points to mistakes.
- Talk about your mistakes before you criticize the other: by being open to your mistakes, others are willing to address theirs.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct commands: this will make a command more accepted.
- Let the other save face: Shrinking a man is one of the quickest ways to end cooperation.
- Praise every improvement: Skills flourish under encouragement.
- Give the other a good reputation to live up to: think highly of others.
- Encourage others: make others feel better.
- Be clear and empathetic
About the author
Dale Carnegie lived from November 24, 1888 to November 1, 1955. He was an American teacher, author, and public speaker. He is best known for his contributions in the fields of psychology and public speaking. Born to a poor family in Missouri, he was very active in college as he participated in debates. After graduation, he was a salesman in Nebraska, an actor in New York, and taught public speaking. His book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” became an instant success because it emphasized the importance of good posture and was a bestseller. The core lesson of his book is that it is possible to change other people by changing your behavior towards them. His first series of writings was Public Speaking: A Practical Course for Businessmen (1926), later titled Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business (1932). He died of Hodgkin’s disease at his New York home and was buried in Cass County, Missouri.
BOOK ADVANTAGE: The core of this book is self-improvement and relationship management. It teaches one good leadership skills by first understanding people before leading them.
RATING: This book is rated 4 to 5 out of 5 by most verified buyers on Amazon. It also has a 4.2/5 rating on good reads. It is confirmed to be a great book for people who want to get along with others as it is well received as evidenced by the more than 30 million copies to date.
CONTEXT: Dale Carnegie’s book followed a similar pattern to previous self-help books before his. This in the sense that the topic was topical and people wanted to hear it. The tone of his book was conversational and set the tone for future self-help books. His call to action motivated people to take steps after reading.
The success of Dale Carnegie’s book can also be traced back to the fact that his book was published in 1936, and from 1929 – 1939 the American economy was hit by the Great Depression. During this period, stocks had crashed and many people had lost their jobs and money. Dale’s book actually served as a source of encouragement to people, as it gave people hope and reinvigorated hope in the American Dream. His book highlights stories of Americans such as Rockefeller and Benjamin Franklin who went through hard times and became successful. This message resonated with people during the Great Depression and his book became a source of hope for many. To this day, it is still a source of hope, as influential figures like Warren Buffet still applaud the book.
Where can you find How to Win Friends and Influence People Book?
- Mass market paperback
- Paper back on Amazon
NOTABLE QUOTES FROM THIS BOOK:
“When we are dealing with humans, we must remember that we are not dealing with logical beings. We are dealing with beings of emotion, beings full of prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity. “-Dale Carnegie
“I will speak evil of no one…and speak all the good that I know of everyone.” -Benjamin Franklin
“The deepest urge in human nature is ‘the desire to be important’.” -John Dewey
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” -Dale Carnegie
“The expression you wear on your face is much more important than the clothes you wear on your back… That’s why dogs are such a hit. They are so happy to see us that they almost jump out of their skin. So of course we are happy to see them. “-Dale Carnegie
“Most people are about as happy as they think they are.” –Abraham Lincoln,
“Be wiser than other people if you can; but don’t tell them.” –Lord Chesterfield,
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